Day 76

Time is abso-poso-lutely flying by. its wonderful. i cant effectively describe how much i love it here. my need for moving is currently sedated due to my only being at my own place of residence a couple of nights a week. its positively lovely. and im having a chicken pot pie for dinner. which makes today the bestest day ever. =]

Day 68

Happy Halloween (every)one! im fully aware that no one is hanging onto the edges of their seats for every installment of this REALLY boring blog. maybe one day that will change. the boring factor that is, not the amount of people waiting ever so patiently. hmmmm maybe i should start a webcomic. maybe. or i can just start putting up some of my designs/ already made pieces.

ANYWAY my musings was not the point of this entry. it was to wish you a fun costume day. i was going to be a cute lil gumball machine, but it was out of stock and i didnt have ample time to make one myself. and this caused a sad. so an angel i am, again. pictures? maybe eventually. depending on if any come out to my liking.

So, have fun. be safe. check your candy for razor blades yadda yadda yadda.

Day 64

man does time ever fly. im still loving it out here. its making me think. question all of my beliefs. hopefully im changing for the better.

it has been officially decided (by me) that this is my home base. no matter how much traveling i do in my life time. this is home. every time i see a little house wedged between big buildings all i can think is O_O WAAANNT -i blame Stuart Little-

im not really sure why, but this seems ideal to me. SO this is a goal for when i decide i am enough of a grown up to actually start looking into buying vs. renting.

Day 26

God, has it really been twenty six days already? yes (i counted twice). honestly i've probably spent a third sleeping at friends' places haha. ive learned the public transit system better, gone to a grocery store that is so hispanic that even the radio is on a spanish speaking station, seen a rather creepy manikin (a 'young' girl with a bunny head) - during the day it isnt so bad, but at night? all alone? when youre kinda lost? damn. its pretty freaky. ive also participated in an epic robot apocalypse themed game of tag. unfortunately all i have for souvenirs from that adventure is a couple of picture sized fliers, a purple ribbon, and two huge blisters on my heals. but it really was quite fun.

ive been going to story time things with my friends lately. They are called Here's the Story and Grown Folks Stories. They have both been a ton of fun so far. The epic game of tag was actually hosted by the Here's the Story crew. again, mucho funness. after Grown Folks Stories the other day we went out for noms. i found an enjoyable sign and took a picture.

at first you think "20 tacos??? who would want to buy 20? how often did that happen before they felt the need to put the sign up???" BUT they were on the smaller side and SUPER good. which made the 20 taco limit more understandable.

"This is too small to be this tasty"

had to get the same one. twice ;]

Day 2

Today is day 2 of official Chicago living. And it is amazing. And its funny, you'd think that i'd miss the stars, the crickets, the hills, the winding roads. But i dont. Not terribly anyway. I notice the lack of such things, but i dont really miss them. I'm all too happy to replace them with traffic lights, sirens, skyscrapers, and grids for roads. I love it here. I went to navy pier and millennium park today. Saw the trees that were being held back by iron bars. It reminded me of a song

"They took all the trees
and put them in a tree musieum
and theyre chargin the people a dollar and a half to see em


now now now dont it always seem to go
that you dont know what you got till its gone
they paved paradise
and put up a parking lot"

I have no idea who sings it, and i dont really feel like looking it up. But i do really like it, and its prolly not even right haha. And thats that. I'll edit this post later and put in some pics of my day (which was a date by the way, for anyone who cares about my personal/love life). But ya, pics, soon.

ok, sorry its been so long! i know its been over twenty days since i said soon for pics. (even though im quite convinced that no one actually cares haha)

Navy Pier

The Marilyn Monroe Statue

The trees I mentioned earlier

Part of Millennium Park?

Picasso Sculpture
(from behind) 

Day 0

so tired. BUT! im just about done.

just packing the purse before i leave. and other misc. things that need to wait.

so gone. so so so gone. hehe. just 6 hours till chi town!

Day -2

Two days until Chicago.
Two days until my life starts.
Two days until who knows.
And I absolutely cannot wait.

I'm partway through packing. There is crap EVERYWHERE! I don't know where half of it came from! When did I end up getting so much STUFF????? I'm sure this is a common problem with other movers as well. I must learn how to throw things away. Give things away. Get rid of superfluous items. I hope to have a better handle on this skill in the future.

GAH!

Sorry to all of one person who still looks at this occasionally! Everythings been hectic. And confusing. And...stationary. BUT I'm going to chicago in 11 days. so all of that will soon change =] sit tight. some ACTUAL travel stuff will pop up eventually.

some dramatic scenes later

THE WALL STILL ISNT DONE!!!

and i think my corner of chaos just got vetoed. -__-

i finagled my way into getting three days off of work in a row so im going to head to connecticut at some point to visit the bf and friends =3

going out with some of the people from work tonight and i get to wear my new dress, actually it was requested by the birthday girl ;] i have become child, younger sister, and apparently role model? they've quite enjoyed my sugar-sweet NON work attire, so i guess now its become a thing to them haha. pics? possibly.

peace, love, and waffle fries.

the quiet rage...

...its the worst kind.

i am going to apologize in advance for the word vomit that is about to ensue. SO to all 2 people who occasionally look at this blog. i am sorry. but i just need to vent, what better place to do so than on the internet?

and so it begins

I have this horrible habit of not telling a story from the beginning, im going to to my best to make sure this makes sense. On april 15th of this year (2011 in case anyone forgot) i went to dinner with my dad. while we were in the car he got a phone call, and mentioned that he and i just had dinner, during the short conversation. since he mentioned me casually, it is easily deduced that the person on the other end knows me. I made the mistake of presuming that i knew them. i asked who it was, and got this look of shock. and he said "dont worry about it."

-__- really?????  because thats not suspicious at all. but i knew that if i hounded him about it i would never get the answer. Now, let me point out right here, that if he had lied here, we could have cut out about 50% of my worry time, and one crazy nightmare.

later on that night, i get a text from him saying that he wasnt prepared for that question. a text. HE WAS LESS THAN 6 FEET FROM ME!!! a few texts later he laughs it off and continues to evade my questions. so i proved my theory, that if i hounded him he wouldnt give me anything. thus i moved on to theory number 2. leave it completely alone and maybe, just maybe he'll tell me.

this brings us to the day before easter. by this time i had already deduced that it was probably someone that he was interested in. (because of the country music that could be heard coming from his room -he hasnt listened to it since he broke up with his last girlfriend and all the ones playing were sappy- and his phone alerting him that he had a text message every few seconds, logical enough?) i was talking to someone who agreed that it was prolly someone he was interested in and jokingly brought up the idea that it might be a guy. this idea stuck in my head. now i wouldnt have a problem if my dad was gay, it would be odd, but id survive.

but now that my suspicions of dating were confirmed, i began to wonder why he didnt tell me. this brings us to today May 10th (again 2011). (yes im skipping some, but im trying to make this the rather condensed version) he still hasnt told me. and at this point he doesnt really need to. for the past few nights he has come home at 11:30 or later, which is highly unusual for him.

if he had told me earlier, or at ALL that he was with someone, or that he was interested in someone or ANYTHING this wouldnt really be as much of an issue. because we could talk about it. and i could meet them and asses their threat level. now, let me say that i have not had the best of luck with parental dating. My parents split up in kindergarten (the first day actually) pretty soon mom was dating again. its pretty sketchy when i look back on it, but thats another story for another day. lets see, we'll go by parent in chronological order (keep in mind these are only the ones i know about, im sure there are more). First there was John. curly haired man who my cat didnt like, who also tried to come into the bathroom with me. to this day i do not believe he had good intentions, and to this day my mother denies that it even happened. then there was brian i believe. he was a color blind cop with 3 kids. nothing bad there, but we slept over one night after the eldest watched the three of us kids and i threw up in the middle of the night. then there was Todd. who was great. he had a son, who was a little younger than me and lived in arizona. i met him at least once. he was a great parent, apparently not too good with money and he smoked cigars occasionally. but i loved him. he was funny, i called him Toddy and he played with me. and then one day he was gone. he moved to arizona to be closer to his son. which quite honestly is understandable. then there was eric. mom dated him for a while, got pregnant, married him in vegas without telling me while i was with my dad for a weekend. he was and is an abusive ass hole who will never earn my respect. without getting into it too much -another story for another time again- mom left him and went back a half dozen times. durring one of the longer ones, while they actually started to get a divorce, she dated someone else. Rick. Richard. Ronald. Roland. No, not Roland. its inconsequential. he was the father of someone in my high school, and in my class. i was told i would only find out if i guessed who the kid was. i did. first try. my mother came home one night, well morning, at 4:30ish. needless to say i was pissed. we had a screaming match, at 4:35ish. when she got back together with eric each time she kept it a secret, and each time i found out i was devastated. im quite sure i have a problem with secrets regarding relationships because of her. i wouldnt be surprised if i have more easter eggs like that hiding somewhere just waiting until i can smell the rot.

onto my dad. the first person that i know of him dating after him and mom got divorced was jen. thankfully i dont remember a lot about her. apparently i loved her at first. and then she was horrible to me later. after a few years they split up, and she moved to PA. but they werent divorced. dad met karen, who in my opinion was awesome. she didnt try to be my mom, and she didnt try too hard to be my friend. she just let it happen, and it did. and it was great. for the first time in a while i had a stability that i LIKED. i had my own room at her house. we made apple pies together. the three of us had the same sense of humor that is SO rare. a lot of times ill tell a joke that i think is hilarious, and i just get a "eeeeeeeeeh hehehe?" and it started going downhill. im not entirely sure why. i dont know the dynamics, dad will call her crazy and i'll politely agree. isnt he crazy, arent i? i thought we prided ourselves on that. they tried to foster a baby boy. his name was jason. and we called him baby jay. he had been thrown, was mostly deaf and need a tube in his throat to breathe, and another tube in his stomach to eat.

He was looking at me in this last one here. i dont normally like kids. and i was trying to stay cold, but i melted. we all did. they didnt get him. and i think that was the last straw. like how some parents divorce after a child dies. i'll get to the full baby jay story another day. at some point dad and karen broke up and he went back to jen, and then that ended and after a while i think he went back to karen? and then it was baby jay? im all messed up. its like a confusing soap opera.

so as ive said before, havent had the best of luck with potential and actual step parents. im sure it was worse for them because they were actually IN the relationship. but i was the one getting dragged back and forth. im trying to think of the most stable thing in my life, something thats been here since the begining, and aside from my parents existing and the cheesy "my parents love for me", i cant think of anything. not a damn thing. cant something important stay the same? for ten minutes? please? its like the world is spinning around me, and i try to run to catch up, but every time i stop to see if ive made any head way, im only further behind...

SO what this rant comes down to. do i have the right to be mad, and to want to know whats going on, so i can be prepaired. so that maybe, i might have a shot at keeping up on the swirling mess around me?

please please please comment. i want your opinions. preferably BEFORE i have a battle royale with my dad.

WWOOOO HOOOO saturday!

this day comes fully packed with forgetting that its saturday and thinking that you missed work. cat going under the covers for the sole purpose of attacking your feet. eating last night's chinese food for breakfast. and desperately trying to find a new tv series to get into!


so, hopefully i can add 'painting the wall' to this list.... it prolly wont happen though =\

oh gosh

its been so long. i hadn't even realized that so much time had passed. well, for all out there who feel the need for change, i have been here just over 2 months, and i already feel the need to switch up my room. hmmmm that requires cleaning doesnt it =\ oh well. the wall is coming together nicely. and i would be done by now, but i ran out of painters tape last week i cant wait to show you the finished product!!! =D hopefully i'll start remembering that i HAVE a blog haha

toodle pip ;]

frustrating

i keep trying to count how many times ive actually moved, but then i get confused around 18 as to which ones ive already counted. i dont go by address, i go by visual memory... cant really write that down effectively. BUT i do know that i have moved on my own accord twice. the first time when i left my mother's house, and the second time when i moved out of Mel's and to my dad's. i think its best to count those instead. much less confusing ;] however, im only going to count the move to college once, because it would add up too quickly otherwise, and that makes for confusion. poor Spencer, he is going to be so confused by the time i settle down...if i ever settle down

Well its been a while

Since i last posted, got my debit card, got a job. FINALLY got the actual acceptance letter from NPU. paid my tuition deposit. registered for classes. Decided to kick my cat out of my room at night so i could SLEEP. Finished all three seasons of Leverage, obtained a 'star crush', did some laundry =D and STILL havent sent back my netflix movie -__- might get approved for a student credit card soon - thats today's adventure. and bought a bike (it has a basket!!!!!!!)

 i plan on using this bike to get to work and back on nice days, it will save SO much money in gas. the price per gallon is ridiculous! last i checked its 3.64 but that was like a week ago and its nothing compared to the rest of the country. we need an alternative source. when this mover decides to actually settle down in a house, she wants to put solar panels all over the roof. possibly a few in the yard. it will help keep electric bills down, and whatever electricity isn't used, the electric company has to buy back =] i just feel like its the smart (and responsible) thing to do. not normally an eco freak, but we only have one earth, please dont destroy it.... its where i keep all my shit. <-- thats for you mella ;]

frustrated

there are so many things that i want to start doing to be ready for north park, but there are stupid little things that stand in my way... like not having the pin for my debit card yet -__-

BIRTHDAY TIME

ITTTTSSS DAVES BIRTHDAY!!!!! HES 19 AND OLD =]

today consists of...

im still on the excited wave that came from hearing about my acceptance. im sure it will die down soon. and as soon as that happens im going to get the actual package in the mail haha.

hopefully putting my deposit in today, and possibly getting a tour of the local community college from an old friend (actually she was my baby sitter when i was a baby) havent really seen her in a year or two so it should be a fun day.... as soon as i find her number... hmmmmmm

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I HAS BEEN ACCEPTED TO NPU!!!!!

looks like another move is in my future guys! so excited!!

FINALLY

i am now expecting some news from npu. monday. i talked to the head of transfers and he said that he will look monday and i should expect to hear from him then =D YAY!!!!

and also dave is coming back for easter break! i has a happy! haha

ugh

i still havent heard anything from NPU and im getting really frustrated.